One

My sweet Evan,

I remember when you weren't even one minute old. They set you on my chest and I could not believe that you were mine. I had tried to imagine what you would look like, what it would be like to hold you, to be your mom. But until that moment when I looked in to your eyes, and saw your chest rise and fall with each beautiful breath, and counted your tiny fingers and toes- I could not have in my wildest dreams known what to expect.

Over the past year you have grown so much, but more amazingly- so have I. Evan, you have instantly made me a better person. I thank you for that. I measure time differently now. I appreciate the good times more, and worry about the bad times less. I know both will pass quickly. I no longer stress out if I can't shower for a day, or if I get my clothes dirty, or if the house isn't just right for company. I know there are more important things to worry about than that.

Ever since you were 7 weeks old, and laughed for the first time- you have filled our house with the joyful sound of belly laughs. I think that is my favorite thing about you- though to be honest, as a mom, it is awful hard to pick just one thing. I love everything about you.

I love the way you want me to read you just one page out of all your books and then you want me to do it again. I love the way you dump the water out of the dogs bowl. I love the way you take all the Q-tips out of the drawer. I love the way you give me kisses, and pat the dogs, and smile at your dad. I love you.

Today we celebrated you. Your grandparents were here, your aunts and uncle were here. We ate carrot cake, and you were hesitant at first, but then dove right in. You liked the cream cheese frosting best. You got quite the haul of toys, including a kitchen set, a ride on train, a ride on car, and a swing. Not to mention the golf clubs and spoons. I already know the spoons will be your favorite. I am not quite sure where your spoon obsession came from, but it is one of your most endearing quirks.

At first I was very sad that you were one. It seemed like your babyhood went by in the blink of an eye. But today, watching you crawl all around, getting in to mischief, I grew more excited about what the next year has in store. As I watch you become your own person, I feel so priveleged to get to witness your life.

You are an amazing little boy and a wonderful son. One year ago I couldn't have known just how much you would change my life. People without kids ask if it changed my life to have you. I try to explain to them that it did, but it is all good changes, and you don't even miss the things that you can't do, because the new stuff is so much better.

Son, here is to a lifetime of new stuff. Your adventure is just beginning, and I am so pleased to be along for the ride. One year old. I still can't believe it. Happy Birthday, my little man.

I love you,
Mom